I can move on with the Power of Christ!

Today I quarreled with my ex-prayer buddy. I had two ex-prayer buddies and I quarreled with my second. Sigh. What a failure I am in life. I fail in so many things. I think my ex-prayer buddy was trying to hint that I had unreasonable expectations about my prayer buddies. How could he have said that!!! All I needed was someone to be there for me, someone whom I can trust, someone who is willing to commit and give me the personal space when I need it. Is that very unreasonable???

Well, after that quarrel, I felt super buay-song leh. I think I'm gonna start using a little bit of Singlish in my blog. Feels more informal and natural mah. First I was labelled as a monster by him, and now this... Sigh... I fail in so many things!

This is my failure list:

Failed BB Founders' test

Fail in breaking my streak of getting 60+ for Physics

Fail in getting along with people

Fail in socialising. I'm always the clown. The joke. I'm always laughing with the people who laugh at me. How ironic.

Fail in my prayer buddy thingy. Failed twice.

Fail at being nice to people. If not why would I be labelled a monster huh?

Fail at bowling.

Fail at basketball.

Self-pwn most of the time.

Fail at so many other things...

Last time, I used to be a person who could handle insults very well. No matter how the people around me made fun of me, I can control my temper and laugh with them. At most I'll just give the trying-not-to-laugh look and end up bursting with laughter. But now I find myself being less able to do that. I will just retreat into my shell and emo. and emo. and emo. sometimes for the rest of the day. People ask me why I just say nothing wrong with me just feeling quiet. Zzz why have I changed so much?

Last year, I took an MBTI test. Personality was ENFJ. Means I'm the more extrovert kind of person. But less than 2 months ago, my personality became INFJ. Means I've become more introvert. Well, actually I don't think I am fully introvert. It's just that I can chose whether to be introvert. That will depend on the group of people I'm hanging around with. With my cell members I think I'm more extrovert, but other times, I'd rather just hide in my shell and emo. and emo. and emo. sometimes cry. It's okay for guys to cry hor... being a guy doesn't mean you hafta bottle up your emotions...

Then during QT today I read about David. Yay! Finished reading 1 Samuel. About how David, despite his downfalls, continue to rely on the strength of God to move on. Perhaps this is a reminder for me to draw strength from Him and move on ba...

I can move on with the Power of Christ! I know I can! Though there will be times when I break down and cry... but I will not slide. I think it is during these times of downfall that I grew closer to Him and learn that He is my refuge...