Facade

Today was... not bad! I felt that I was myself, and that I no longer let myself be guided by my emotions, but rather, just relax.

However, I've begun to realise the facades of the people around me... Like how my first "spiritual buddy" can be so promising and nice to me on MSN yesterday when I told him my decision but all of a sudden in class today he treats me like I'm transparent. But I'm already not letting myself get affected by all these. In fact, I gave thanks, because God opened my eyes and let me see what type of person he is.

I gave thanks, because God helped me make the right decision of rejecting him as a spiritual buddy again. I gave thanks, because I knew that if I had blindly handled things according to my independent will instead of seeking Him, I would be much more miserable now.

All these facades from the people around me... Sometimes it gets me really confused. Who is genuine and who isn't. But anyway, I know that all I gotta do is not be like those hypocrites who put on a facade. I just have to be myself. Be sincere. Be true to others.

Well... I'm still hoping for a better tomorrow. I know that I'm beginning to bounce back from my failures. I feel myself laughing more often. I find that I'm no longer thinking about the unhappy stuff and emo-ing... I've learnt that when these unhappy memories are triggered, instead of emo-ing and feeling sad and letting my mood get ruined, I should look at it from a reflective point of view and give thanks to God for opening my eyes. Though I would still get a little quieter and maybe emo, but I'm learning how to cope with these emotions.

I believe that through these experiences, God has made me stronger, and I hope that with this new personality that God has moulded me into, I can do much more for Him.