New Week, New Hope

It's gonna be another 7 days in a new week. I hope tomorrow will be a good start for my new schooling week. I have survived 15 school days (including those school holidays in between), and I hope that I can survive the remaining 35 days...

It feels like these 3 weeks have been passing by rather slowly. I have been trying to change my perceptions about the people around me, especially my classmates, but there are a lot of setbacks as well. Like sometimes I still feel that I'm transparent. And when I speak no one bothers to really give me their attention. Okay maybe just idly listen to me for 1 minute then they'll talk to someone else like I don't exist. Haiz. If you don't want to talk to me then tell me la why you have to treat me this way!!!

I think there is no point deceiving myself. If I'm happy, I'll show it. But if I'm not, there's no point faking a smile and pretending to be happy. I'll be true to myself and true to God. I'm close to the point on giving up hope on the people in my class. I don't think anybody really genuinely regards me as a friend. Even those people whom I viewed as my closer friends in class... have never really showed concern over what has happened to me... Maybe 1 or 2 people have asked "Hey Alex how are you" like in a joking manner but nothing beyond that. Obviously I'm not fine!

There are many times when I'm alone and wishing that there's someone beside me whom I can just openly share about what I've been through. I can't keep everything to myself and pretend like nothing happened these few months through my behaviour in class.

Hope that this new week will be better for me. I know I need to place my focus on God and not let my feelings be affected by what happens around me. Perhaps in class I'll just be a quiet and more introvert person. But that doesn't mean I won't be happy okay! As the title of this post says, new week, new hope. Hope in God. Not in men. I've almost lost hope on the people in my class. Just people who mug mug mug mug mug the whole day. Only care about studies and not so much about friendship. Perhaps I should just treat my first "spiritual buddy" like an acquaintance. Like say hi if need be. Full stop.

For people reading my blog... please feel free to post your comments... I may not reply to your comments but yes I do read them! And your encouragements mean a lot to me k! Thanks to those who were willing to spend time to read my blog... like I know there are a few who are silently reading but don't post comments... thx to you all! :)

And I want to take this chance to thank all my cell members... thank you all for being so willing to listen to all my thoughts and feelings from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for all your encouragement... thanks for being the only group of people who let me truly experience what is friendship... and brother and sisterly love in Christ... the love that comes from God! :)