I'm really thankful that God had made this hike a success! Though not all the checkpoints were covered, but I believe that everybody had many lessons to take home and that everyone had fun!
Personally I really cherished the time that I had with my Sec 1s. Though most of the time we were just joking around and verbally irritating each other, but it felt really light-hearted, and these light-hearted feelings seemed to replace the emptiness within me.
But hike is over. And the emptiness is back.
Tomorrow there's Bible verse memorisation. And I'm still memorising. And I'm leading prayer session tomorrow. Suddenly feels so stressed out again. I just came back from hike and got stuff to handle liao. Wah. Shiong leh.
But what's the most stressful is that... I'll be meeting the hurdles again. Who knows, I might be entering a church and feeling so alone again. The cell group which originally gave me a sense of belonging... suddenly I no longer feel the sense of belonging. The cell group has sufficient pianists. And honestly speaking... when I saw the choir score for the SATB parts for the Christmas song, I couldn't bear to look at it. I'm not SATB. I'm just the audience.
And all the while I have been wanting to sing tenor in the choir. I know that I can hit bass notes as well, but I feel that... God gave me the potential to hit these high notes as well. And I'm not given a chance to realise this. Everytime got SATB conductor will always assign me bass. Except for one song, which I asked to be in tenor. Other than that all bass. Bass then bass lor. Since don't need me liao then sing soft soft also can lah.
Tomorrow feels like a challenge. To me every single day feels like a challenge.
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