A few days ago, I started reading the book of Job for my QT. And I want to say that I really found a lot of encouragement from this book. Plus this morning, after a "class" with my mentor, I have become more confident about the fact that all those pessimistic and negative stuff I have been telling myself are actually false.
All these while, I have only been considering things from only my own point of view, being protective about myself, most of the time even being over-protective. I have never considered about how others would feel and think regarding the way I behave. To summarise what I've said, all these while I feel that I've been really really selfish.
I think it's time to break out of the shell. I know I can do it. It's only a matter of choice. It's because of the result of misbelief that caused me to type all the previous blog posts that could have hurt people. And I didn't realise that because I've only been considering how I was feeling at that point in time.
Right now feeling really horrible. Zzz. Down with sore throat. How nice. After my throat ulcer is gone, now I've sore throat. And I think I didn't sleep properly last night, that's why now my neck hurts whenever I try to turn my head to the left. And I'm having a really horrible headache as well. I think my headache is because of the strain in the left side of my neck.
Hopefully after a night's rest I would feel much better tomorrow. Haha. For a moment I thought I had a fever because my mum repeatedly placed her palm on my forehead. Usually if I don't have a fever she'll only feel my forehead once. But today was different. At least I don't feel like I've gotten a fever. Maybe it's just my headache that is making me feel so horrible.
Haiz I think I really have to sleep early tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep by 11pm. I suddenly remembered that I have not slept so early for so long. Lemme break my record today. Lol.
I think from now on, I'll stop dwelling on all those unhappy experiences. I'll try to type happier posts :) Of course, I must reflect how I'm feeling deep inside, but right now, I feel really determined to walk out of this shadow. I shouldn't be mistreating myself by making myself feel miserable. And I'm sure God doesn't want to see me this way as well.
That's all for today. Oh and not to forget that two days ago I actually slipped in my grandma's room because there was powder all over her floor. And I knocked and scraped my shin against her bed. Nothing big, but just... blue-black. Zzz now I cannot eat fried food in school because of my throat. Oh no. Fried food, oh fried food, I'll miss you. But I'll be back for you :D
Eeeeww sounded so mushy. Lmao.
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