I think I still don't shut up enough. I'm still talking to walls. Sometimes I try to spice things up for myself by cracking a joke and in the end I get reprimanded by the people around me. So much for trying to be happy.
Everytime something like this happens, I can't help but tell myself, "Alex just shut up. How come you don't learn your lesson? Just keep quiet la! Only talk when you need to, not when you want to." And so I'll begin keeping my thoughts to myself, even though I might craft out funny remarks, I still keep them to myself and just silently laugh it off. And when I finally open my mouth to talk, the cycle starts all over again.
Haiz. Why is this happening to me... Just because I have no temper? Just because when I'm bullied I don't retaliate? Just because I'm gullible and nice to bully?
Perhaps it's time I start showing some temper. To stand up for myself and show other's that I'm not as easy to bully as they all think.
Church wasn't that bad two days ago. I felt a little more warmth and love in that community. Hopefully I'll begin to find that sense of belonging again.
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