Roller Coaster

To think that yesterday I happily concluded the day thinking that I don't need to be down for my PAA key event for BB Share-a-Gift.

I check my entire email inbox for a notification about today's supposed event. But I forgot about my handphone. And today... while eating lunch at Burger King, I found the notification on my phone that was sent close to 3 weeks ago.

How smart I am la. First I get lost while going on a run. And now this. Haiz at that point in time I just felt... really really stupid. Like how I can't get things right... and I seem to screw up stuff all the time. Somehow or rather... I seem to mess up whatever I'm involved in.

So what could I do? Of course sms HQ lor... so HQ asked me to make up on the 11th and I said okay. Although I was going overseas on the 11th. But yea I thought I could push back my Malacca trip by one day. And I thought things were settled and so I went to Oasis in an okay mood thinking everything will be fine...

And what happened when I got home? Everybody directing their remarks at me. For being forgetful. Being blur. Like I'm feeling so happy about forgetting my duty. It's not that I'm irresponsible... it's honestly a slip of my mind. If I had discovered the sms last night, today I would have definitely gone for the key event. Haiz...

Initially my parents actually don't want to change date for Malacca trip. But 11th is the only day I can make up right?! There are no other dates available already!!! It's like... I suddenly felt that I had no way out... like I was being trapped in a corner... so I told my parents... it's either my mum and I book 2 tickets for 12 December, or I don't go. Honestly. I don't feel like going overseas. Like what I've been saying, what I need is a break, not a holiday. Not some fancy fancy overseas trip... but just to have time to be still and reflect.

Eventually my parents still budged and my dad said he'll book 2 tickets for 12 December. Though I would still prefer to stay in Singapore. But I'm still super super pissed off at myself... if only I had been more thorough last night... maybe all these wouldn't have happened. If only... I had been more organised to jot down reminders when I immediately got the sms... Haiz WHY AM I SO BLUR!!!

On a higher note... I thank God for today's time at Oasis... impromptu worship band haha! Impromptu keyboardist... practising the songs 1 hour before the actual worship... but I suppose worship went well... no major screw ups at least haha. And the thanksgiving session as well... seriously when the mike was directed at me, I wasn't prepared for that at all! Like... all of a sudden I didn't know what do say because I didn't phrase my thoughts properly before that.

Haha but now I'll "deliver" my official thanksgiving speech. Now that I have the time to think through and phrase my thoughts properly... I really thank God for the camp from the bottom of my heart. I thank God for my activity group, and for my family group... and for knowing David and Jed. Especially David :) Haha though didn't get a chance to talk to him at the camp, but yea I really hope this friendship can last for a lifetime :) You have really encouraged me a lot! :)

I still need time to adjust to my new specs. I look really really weird in specs. Maybe too used to seeing myself without specs for 3 years already. Haha. But yea I just need time to get used to specs I suppose. It's like... a completely new lifestyle already haha! And having to learn how to take care of my specs... everything...

Wow things are like going on a roller coaster. It's like... so many things are happening at the same time. And I just feel so out of breath. Like I just can't catch up with the pace of my life. That's why I want a break. A holiday, to me, won't actually slow down this pace of life and give me time to catch my breath!

Sigh tomorrow is my JLPT liao. Zzz. Feeling quite nervous about it. But I told God I'm just going to commit everything to Him. If I pass... haha that's good. If I fail... haha I won't be too hard on myself. Passing or failing don't mean much to me haha. Not to say that I'm not gonna take this seriously though... Haha :) But no matter how difficult the test may be tomorrow... Haha I'll be sure to walk out of the exam centre with a smile because I know that He only has plans to prosper me, and not to harm me! :)