Cold

Tonight just feels... so cold. Externally cold. And internally cold too.

I guess tonight's just... my emo day. The no-one's-concerned-about-me feeling is just... back. Time and again I look at my phone... hoping for an sms asking me how I am doing or how I am feeling or are you feeling better from last week... Don't have lor. Zzz. The love that I experienced during church camp... is just suddenly... gone.

And I don't know why most of the time it's me who's taking the initiative to ask people how they are. I find it weird... cos these people I'm referring to are older than me. I mean it's... natural that the elder should take care of the younger and not the other way round right. Feeling really awkward about it because I'm not exactly an extrovert person.

I'm still waiting for this sms. A simple "Alex, I just want you to know that... I'm your friend and I'm always there for you when you need a listening ear... and that you're always in my prayers..." ....... haven't received such an sms in a really really really long time. Throughout the day when I walked to my phone and hoped that I would receive this sms... I'm just left with disappointed feelings.

Still quite satisfied that yesterday I patched things up with my 6-year-long friend. The entire event on 11 December turned out to just be a casual thing lor. My 6-year-long friend didn't take it seriously cos that entire thing was in a light and joking atmosphere. Seems like I was the only one to take it seriously and emo and brood over it. But now that it's over I shan't think too much about it. Perhaps thing about it and just laugh at how stupid I was to take things so seriously. Haha. But yea we've patched things up and hopefully we'll be as good as before :)

Still feeling cold. Still waiting for this sms. To be honest, I'm feeling really lonely. My honest feelings. Loneliness. Waiting for someone to just take the initiative to talk to me on MSN... Logged in for more than an hour already. And no one.

I'm still waiting.